I haven't written for a while, as it has been a strange time at our house. We have been on vacation and celebrated my sister-in-law's pregnancy, my nephew's birthday, my husband's birthday, and had lots of family fun. We came home and within a week discovered we were in the midst of a miscarriage for a pregnancy we had only barely announced, sharing only with a few close friends and a very small part of the family. And then, it was back to school time, and planning for my oldest little woman's 15th birthday.
There are no words to describe how hard it is when the joyful parts of life are all wrapped around grief. Do I feel relieved for having so much to distract me from the sadness in my life? Do I feel like I am somehow not honoring the little life we lost by celebrating and throwing myself into the plans for the upcoming party? Am I struggling with my faith and yet having to teach my children how to HAVE faith all at the same time? The answer, quite simply, is yes. I can't even wrap my head around it all. And as funny/sad/strange as it sounds, in the midst of planning the birthday party that I am going to enjoy this weekend, I find myself trying to figure out how to help other moms as they face that awful site on the ultrasound. And I find myself planning my son's birthday party in November and Christmas and... you get the idea.
So, I've decided to take a break out of all of it and spend Saturday, September 10 with Beth Moore at a Simulcast location. I can always hear from God when I go to a Beth Moore event. Even in the midst of sorrow. Even when my faith is about the size of that much discussed mustard seed. Even when my mind is whirling with plans I am making and where I want to be this time next year. So join me. Find a local Beth Moore simulcast and come hear from God with me. Even if you have doubts. Even if you struggle with the goodness of God. Even if.
