The body-heart connection

I've often wondered how it is that even without looking at a calendar, without counting up the days, our body can seem to know that a day has some kind of painful connection?  As I sat on the couch, trying to decipher the slightly higher blood pressure, muscle aches, and anxiety I was feeling, I started to think about what day today is.  Why today?  Why on a holiday weekend when everything seems to be doing so well?  Why, when my heart feels like it is finally starting to mend and I can pray without asking why bad things happen, am I feeling so down?  Turns out, today is the one-month anniversary of our most recent loss.  And like clock work, each time the one-month anniversary of a loss rolls around, with it comes a wave of sadness, of actual physical anxiety and stress that I find myself wondering if I need a trip to a doctor's office.

There is a great verse, Isaiah 40:31, for just such a moment as this, "They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength.  They shall mount up on wings as eagles.  They shall run, and not be weary.  They shall walk, and not faint."  So, I gather my tears and my struggles.  I gather my questions that will probably remain unanswered until I see Jesus face to face.  I gather the pieces of my heart that are just starting to mend back into place.  And gathered all together, I wait.  It would be so much easier if there were some "doing" out there for me.  And in the coming days and weeks, there will be jobs God puts in my way to do.  But for tonight, I will simply wait.  Trusting that it will be as He has said.