Dark side of the Mom?

Riding home from watching fireworks a second time, I found myself humming, rather irrationally, the Pink Floyd song, "Brain Damage" from The Dark Side of the Moon.  You might have expected some patriotic verse or something from our usual KLTY radio station, perhaps a nice worship song if you know me well.  But there it was.  Pink Floyd.

I suspect a lot of it had to do with the fact that lurking under my usually fairly calm exterior is my dad.  I won't lie.  My dad has grown up a lot over the years, and age has, for the most part, mellowed him tremendously (which is super good for the grandchildren!).  When I was a kid and living at home, though, he had a hair trigger temper that we all walked on eggshells around, especially when he was in a "mood."  That part of me sneaks out some days, and I am left with a not so good feeling at the end of it.  It nearly always requires an apology to someone (usually my kids), and a lot of prayer and Bible reading to remind me to get that inner lunatic under control.  My dad isn't really a lunatic, and never was, but that is frequently how I feel when that part of me tries to sneak out.

Sometimes, my inner lunatic is more of a silly 13 year-old girl.  It is that part of me that wants to giggle and point when I notice some teen boy checking out one of my daughters, or notices some boy I think they should be checking out.  I've gotten several laughs impersonating myself and telling my daughters and their friends that inside most moms is a teenager.  We just keep her under wraps most of the time.  She usually only makes an appearance at a party, late at night when we have had too much popcorn and root beer, or when we are looking in the mirror finding things to hate about ourselves.

I suspect many people would find the fact that at a scrapbooking weekend I can totally forget to eat more than an occasional meal a bit of a lunatic hiding in side me.  It is the same lunatic that will work on a project until about 2 AM after most of the room has cleared out, then wake up at 5:30 or 6 AM with the early risers to get started again.  And I think I'm having fun while I'm doing it!  I get some of my best ideas, like sneaking cards to a few of the scrappers who inspired me that weekend, or that great page you look at years later and still smile about.

Do you have an inner lunatic just waiting to escape, or is it just me?  Ah well.  It is no longer dark, and work calls.  I must get the lunatic back on the path.